From the day I was born, I was born to be a mom! My husband has also always wanted kids. We had been together for 8.5 years before getting married and knew that we wanted to try for kids right away. As a result, we ended up finding out we were pregnant 6 months after we were married. When I saw the positive test, I immediate started squealing and crying. My dream of becoming a mother had finally come true!
Almost immediately I began prepping my body for the next 9 months. I bought some of the most expensive creams and oils because I was SURE I would be the one person who wouldn't get stretch marks, and for the first 5 months, this was true. Then one day I woke up and and my husband found an ugly, red mark on my hip. I realized it was a stretch mark but didn't care because, after all, it was on my hip and not on my stomach. Who sees your hips anyways? All I cared about was that I could still wear a bikini post baby.
Then it happened. It was a beautiful May morning when I woke up to shower. Upon looking in the mirror, I saw the ugly red mark on my stomach staring back at me. I immediately burst into tears. For the next month, as more and more marks appeared, I got sadder and sadder. I didn't see a beautiful pregnant woman, I saw an ugly stomach with bright red marks and knew that I would no longer feel attractive. My husband tried everything to cheer me up. One day he looked at me and said "Babe, those aren't stretch marks, those are battle scars; positive battle scars. They show that you are going through the most amazing process and creating a beautiful new life!" (He was also the man who once told me that my cellulite wasn't cellulite but brail that spelled out 'sexy') As sweet as this was, it didn't help.
As I thought more and more about this, I realized that I probably wasn't the only pregnant woman who felt this way. Pregnancy is a beautiful process and everyone should enjoy what is happening inside their bodies (even if they feel like crap from all of the morning sickness). In the end though, I think that a lot of pregnant women feel like I felt. But why?
Maybe because of the media. When a celebrity gets pregnant all they talk about is how good their bodies look or how quickly they bounced back after baby. They show you the workout routine they did and the disgusting diet they were on. They make woman feel like this is the reality and that they should be in a slinky dress flaunting their slim figure four weeks after baby. But this isn't reality.
What could be another cause of pregnant woman feeling horrible about their bodies...other women. Sadly, the one group of people who should support us are typically the same group of people who scrutinize and criticize each other the most. I experienced this first hand.
I am a naturally small person and have been my entire life. When I got pregnant, I began showing pretty early. Being pregnant with a boy made me even larger in the front as it looked like I was carrying a beach ball under my shirt. When I was 4 months pregnant, I had a woman ask me if I was 7 months pregnant and when I told her I wasn't, she replied "Really? You are so big!"; I had a complete stranger poke my love handle and tell me that she can tell I am pregnant from behind because of the fat I have gained on the sides; and I had more than enough woman ask me if I was sure it wasn't twins. All of this got to me so much that I spent a good amount of time crying over my "fat" body. As much as my husband told me I was beautiful, I didn't believe him (to me he had to say that because he was my husband).
Then one day, as I was talking to two of my friends who are moms, I had an epiphany. While complaining about my stretch marks, they showed me their bellies. What I saw wasn't what I was expecting to see. I didn't see a photoshopped, perfect body, I saw reality. That they too had stretch marks. It was at that moment that I realized that pregnancy is beautiful.
As I thought about my new body and realized, finally with happiness and joy, that I would probably never have my pre pregnancy body back, it made me think about all of the body shaming woman do to other woman, especially when pregnant.
If someone posts a picture of their 'large' belly, complete strangers comment how 'fat' she looks. In the same breath, if a woman who is 7 months pregnant posts a picture of her barely showing baby bump, people comment how disgusting and selfish she is for not gaining enough weight or not eating enough food.
THIS NEEDS TO STOP! Every woman is different and rather than shame one another, we should support each other. Woman are the only other people who can relate to being pregnant. We should show support and be there for one another. For decades, woman have fought for their voice to be heard and to be treated equally, yet when it comes to other woman we treat one another like crap. Rather than shame one another, let's show off our beautiful "battle scars". Let's praise one another for bringing a new life into the world and for putting our bodies through one of the most difficult yet beautiful processes. Let's show each other what real woman look like and that those stretch marks, scars, and loose skin aren't defects but amazing beauty marks. And if you still don't believe it just remember that there are woman out there who have been trying to have kids and would die to have stretch marks if it meant they were getting a baby.
Remember, those models are photoshopped, those celebrities in the slinky dresses on the red carpet aren't reality, and those perfectly smooth bellies in lotion commercials aren't real. What is real is the fact that as a woman you have an amazing ability to create a human life, to nurture something growing inside your body, to bring life into this world. As women, we need to support one another in all aspects of life because if we don't, who will? After all, we are beautiful and Lord knows that a man wouldn't be able to do half the stuff we do.
So to all new moms out there or to moms who are struggling to see their beauty (as well as their feet) or to moms who are beating themselves up over not losing the baby weight "fast enough", stop and know that you are beautiful, amazing, and courageous! Because in the end, it isn't about what society feels about us but what we feel about ourselves. And just when you think you can't feel as beautiful as you once did, know you aren't alone and share your stories to support one another!
Almost immediately I began prepping my body for the next 9 months. I bought some of the most expensive creams and oils because I was SURE I would be the one person who wouldn't get stretch marks, and for the first 5 months, this was true. Then one day I woke up and and my husband found an ugly, red mark on my hip. I realized it was a stretch mark but didn't care because, after all, it was on my hip and not on my stomach. Who sees your hips anyways? All I cared about was that I could still wear a bikini post baby.
Then it happened. It was a beautiful May morning when I woke up to shower. Upon looking in the mirror, I saw the ugly red mark on my stomach staring back at me. I immediately burst into tears. For the next month, as more and more marks appeared, I got sadder and sadder. I didn't see a beautiful pregnant woman, I saw an ugly stomach with bright red marks and knew that I would no longer feel attractive. My husband tried everything to cheer me up. One day he looked at me and said "Babe, those aren't stretch marks, those are battle scars; positive battle scars. They show that you are going through the most amazing process and creating a beautiful new life!" (He was also the man who once told me that my cellulite wasn't cellulite but brail that spelled out 'sexy') As sweet as this was, it didn't help.
As I thought more and more about this, I realized that I probably wasn't the only pregnant woman who felt this way. Pregnancy is a beautiful process and everyone should enjoy what is happening inside their bodies (even if they feel like crap from all of the morning sickness). In the end though, I think that a lot of pregnant women feel like I felt. But why?
Maybe because of the media. When a celebrity gets pregnant all they talk about is how good their bodies look or how quickly they bounced back after baby. They show you the workout routine they did and the disgusting diet they were on. They make woman feel like this is the reality and that they should be in a slinky dress flaunting their slim figure four weeks after baby. But this isn't reality.
What could be another cause of pregnant woman feeling horrible about their bodies...other women. Sadly, the one group of people who should support us are typically the same group of people who scrutinize and criticize each other the most. I experienced this first hand.
I am a naturally small person and have been my entire life. When I got pregnant, I began showing pretty early. Being pregnant with a boy made me even larger in the front as it looked like I was carrying a beach ball under my shirt. When I was 4 months pregnant, I had a woman ask me if I was 7 months pregnant and when I told her I wasn't, she replied "Really? You are so big!"; I had a complete stranger poke my love handle and tell me that she can tell I am pregnant from behind because of the fat I have gained on the sides; and I had more than enough woman ask me if I was sure it wasn't twins. All of this got to me so much that I spent a good amount of time crying over my "fat" body. As much as my husband told me I was beautiful, I didn't believe him (to me he had to say that because he was my husband).
Then one day, as I was talking to two of my friends who are moms, I had an epiphany. While complaining about my stretch marks, they showed me their bellies. What I saw wasn't what I was expecting to see. I didn't see a photoshopped, perfect body, I saw reality. That they too had stretch marks. It was at that moment that I realized that pregnancy is beautiful.
As I thought about my new body and realized, finally with happiness and joy, that I would probably never have my pre pregnancy body back, it made me think about all of the body shaming woman do to other woman, especially when pregnant.
If someone posts a picture of their 'large' belly, complete strangers comment how 'fat' she looks. In the same breath, if a woman who is 7 months pregnant posts a picture of her barely showing baby bump, people comment how disgusting and selfish she is for not gaining enough weight or not eating enough food.
THIS NEEDS TO STOP! Every woman is different and rather than shame one another, we should support each other. Woman are the only other people who can relate to being pregnant. We should show support and be there for one another. For decades, woman have fought for their voice to be heard and to be treated equally, yet when it comes to other woman we treat one another like crap. Rather than shame one another, let's show off our beautiful "battle scars". Let's praise one another for bringing a new life into the world and for putting our bodies through one of the most difficult yet beautiful processes. Let's show each other what real woman look like and that those stretch marks, scars, and loose skin aren't defects but amazing beauty marks. And if you still don't believe it just remember that there are woman out there who have been trying to have kids and would die to have stretch marks if it meant they were getting a baby.
Remember, those models are photoshopped, those celebrities in the slinky dresses on the red carpet aren't reality, and those perfectly smooth bellies in lotion commercials aren't real. What is real is the fact that as a woman you have an amazing ability to create a human life, to nurture something growing inside your body, to bring life into this world. As women, we need to support one another in all aspects of life because if we don't, who will? After all, we are beautiful and Lord knows that a man wouldn't be able to do half the stuff we do.
So to all new moms out there or to moms who are struggling to see their beauty (as well as their feet) or to moms who are beating themselves up over not losing the baby weight "fast enough", stop and know that you are beautiful, amazing, and courageous! Because in the end, it isn't about what society feels about us but what we feel about ourselves. And just when you think you can't feel as beautiful as you once did, know you aren't alone and share your stories to support one another!